That's What Shane Said!: Archive

Mar 1st

731 notes

1 tag

All I've had today was a cup of coffee and a bowl...

Mar 1st

“My night went way downhill after the 3rd shot of snake juice.”

– Shane B.

Feb 28th

1 tag

Feb 27th

2 notes

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Feb 27th

2 tags

I have to work a Corey Smith show tonight...

lifethesedays: thatswhatshanesaid: Who the fuck is Corey Smith and how did he presell 800 tickets? I don’t understand you frat people and your interests. I’m not peeling any of you off the floor when you binge drink before the show and pass out during the opening set. Not again. Did you have to stomp out any frat stars? Cory Smith is like their god. There must have been so many boners in...

Feb 27th

6 tags

Feb 27th

Feb 26th

1 tag

I have to work a Corey Smith show tonight...

Who the fuck is Corey Smith and how did he presell 800 tickets? I don’t understand you frat people and your interests. I’m not peeling any of you off the floor when you binge drink before the show and pass out during the opening set. Not again.

Feb 26th

1 tag

Feb 25th

6 notes

UPDATE!

If you read my previous post you would know that my house was being plagued by the ever present smell of death. Well, I have a ladyfriend coming over tonight and as everyone knows, pungent aromas of decay aren’t very good in setting the right mood. I got fed up and grabbed my MagLight and looked into the crawlspace only to find a 20 pound beast of a dead cat. In summation… it takes...

Feb 24th

“I don’t know if this qualifies as a repair, but there seems to be some...”

– The repair request which I sent to my landlord.

Feb 24th

Tell me all the things you don't like about me... →

Someone anonymously requested i register for this site, so I obviously did. Have at it.

Feb 24th

Feb 23rd

1 tag

I WANT TO LAUGH by Shane B. (That's me)

I want to laugh! How long has it been? I want to feel it well up inside of me: starting as a tickle on the soles of my feet working its way up to become a weakness in my knees. Then a churn in the bellows of my stomach it will become, and soon a burning in my lungs, until it surges up my throat and bursts out of my mouth like a flock of wild birds set free. I want to laugh! I want to us to fill...

Feb 23rd

METHODS FOR BEING NICE by Mike McGee

Being a shitbox to others is easy and probably instinctual. For nice people, the practices listed below are almost second nature. That’s not to say they aren’t worked on and failed at by nice folks everyday. Nice people also have to work at being nice. Be attentive. Recognize the importance of what people tell you. Memorize faces, names, and dates. You’ll probably surprise them with your...

Feb 22nd

1 tag

THE QUIET WORLD by Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look into each other’s eyes more, the government has decided to allot each person exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words, per day. When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the restaurant I point at chicken noodle soup. I am adjusting well to the new way. Late at night, I call my long distance lover and proudly say I only used fifty-nine...

Feb 22nd

1 tag

ALL DISTORTION, ALL THE TIME by Derrick C. Brown

Someone plug my lungs back into the guitar amps! I want to live on All distortion, all the time. Aren’t you sick of being appraised as just wholesale? Aren’t you sick of sailing on listing ships? Aren’t you weary from playing cellos with ex-lover’s bones? I want the butterfly brigade to grant me a year with no stomach drama. I want a piano that will not warp outdoors when the rain demands slow...

Feb 22nd